Politicians

Politicians
(Cliff Drought, John Kinne, Andy Kitts)

Politicians have feet. This is a law which makes life lethargic, boring, and dull. It’s a rather silly law, but politicians must have slimy little feet that stink, covered by argyle socks with little green dollar signs on them. Why the putrid pea-green? Because politicians all have incredibly large noses that stick way out which they pick with much zest and zeal. Oh yeah, and they accept bribes. Not just little bribes, like a hundred thousand dollars, but big bribes. Bribes big enough to choke a thirsty one-humped Iraqi camel with brown eyes and zits. Not that all camels have brown eyes, or zits for that matter. Some have royal red eyes, like ugly politicians, with their incredible thirst for blood and power. Like in the parched deserts of Saudi Arabia where the brown-eyed camels and the red-eyed politicians intermingle to protect their precious oil and kill their spoiled children.

Politicians are fat. Not just roly-poly fat, but incredibly obtuse, ands very round. Round like the Goodyear Blimp. Not that they’re gluttons, they just enjoy the ecstasy of cramming golden corn cobs down their greedy gullets. Politicians are more that fat. They are greasy-fat. The sweat and grease slowly runs down their over-stuffed maws. Greasy-fatness helps them in advertising. They don’t need a great deal of makeup clumped upon their fat faces. They can save it for their ugly wives and uncles, who require a great deal of makeup to look even half-human. Politicians look like the Goodyear Blimp, wrapped in their grease-stained American flags, flags that have been used to mop up the vast wastes of the imperialistic government and its barbaric ways.