The OfficeMax Shorts

The first time I seen her was in the café rouge. There she sat, drinking her coffee, smoking a cigarette. It was love at first sight. I asked her back to my place; she accepted. So I killed her. After all, one shouldn’t talk to strangers.

Once upon a time there were two guys at OfficeMax. They were bored. Isn’t that funny?

So anyways, stud #1, Fred, walked back into furniture to take a nap, Super-Stud #2, John, continued to write this boring story. Isn’t that funny?

It was nearly eight-thirty when she walked into the store. She was gorgeous. Of course, anything female is gorgeous at 8:30 in OfficeMax. John said, "Can I help you?" She screamed. What a loser.

Hello. My name is Bob. What’s yours? Let me tell ya a story.

Once upon a time in the wonderful land of OfficeMax there was this guy John. Pretty cool, heh? So anyways, John was bored off of his butt. So he started typing. This is what he came up with:

Fred was enduring another boring night at OfficeMax. Typical. So he asked John to write him another story. So John started typing. This is what he came up with:

He seen her sitting from the other side of the room. She was gorgeous. Perfect. Perfection. She really wasn’t bad at all. He walked over and sat next to her. She didn’t seem to notice him. So he slapped her upside the head. She turned and said, "You must work at OfficeMax." He was crushed. So he went home and took three bottles of FiberCon, he was constipated. The next day, back to the bar, there she was, wearing a pea-green suit with a navy-blue tweed tie. He said, "you must work at OfficeMax," and left.

Fred finished reading the story. "Pretty stupid John, it’s obvious that you work at OfficeMax!"


© 1998, John Kinne, All rights reserved